Yesterday I watched and learned.  I freely admit my fear and skepticism was unfounded. I want to begin by thanking my teachers.

I learned from my friends Leah and her mom, Natalie and her mom, my niece Sarah and her mom; my friend Tim and his ManKind project tribe; my friend Ellen, all at the D.C. march. I learned from my friends Chris and his daughter in DC; Laurel and her daughter in Victoria. I learned from my friends Angie marching in Denver, Betsy and her infant son in Toronto, Dale and her daughter in Halifax, Fiona in New York, Beverly in Philadelphia.

I feared that the message would be too fuzzy to be meaningful. Yet, I saw passionate proponents of diverse issues walking together. My friends wrote and read and shared images of clever and defiant signs.

I was afraid of violence and arrests. Instead, marchers endured lines and crowds, moved peacefully and with joy. The Women’s March on Washington didn’t yield a single arrest, according to D.C. Homeland Security Director https://t.co/zcChdT0hJ0

My biggest beef had been with what message was being delivered, to whom, and whether it would be heard. I had questioned the purpose of the march and wrestled with whether to go. I didn’t understand what the march would accomplish. I thought that the major purpose of a march was to “deliver a message” to the President and incoming Administration.

I was skeptical of that purpose because the people I thought were the intended audience wasn’t remotely interested in listening. The Trump team and supporting members of Congress already knows what I thought were the marches’ main messages: that the majority of voters, who did not support the President, intend to block Trump’s agenda on every issue, and they want their members of Congress to oppose the President, too.

The biggest accomplishments were things I didn’t anticipate. All my marching friends agreed that they left full of hope and solidarity and renewed resolve. Even as a non-marcher, I was unexpectedly moved by the power of solidarity. I did not expect the D.C. march to inspire marches totaling millions, in cities and towns and even on ships, on every continent. Women’s Marches Go Global: Postcards From Protests Around The World.  Organizers compiled numbers, because numbers talk.  Onsite estimates from march cities

For every million who marched, there are more, like me, who watched thoughtfully. Marchers, I heard you. I’ve got your backs. Don’t assume I’m not with you just because I didn’t march. We’re going to disagree about many things. (Heck, Barack Obama admitted that he and Joe Biden disagreed about a lot.) But we’re going to need to stand up for each other, because the tough work is about to start.

If you marched yesterday, then yes, rest today, and then plan. Whether you marched or not, what’s your pledge to support your vision for this country, moving forward?

What’s next? Today’s marches around the world leave me looking for guidance from those who have already marched for civil rights, for human rights. What do we need to know now, moving forward? I sought inspiration from an extraordinary woman: Dr. Pocahontas Gertler.

She is a fierce warrior: as thoughtful, gentle and articulate as she is determined.  Poco has been patient with me as I sort out my views on America’s way forward. She graciously agreed to let me share her thoughts with you.

“I suspect that at the dawn of the Donald Trump presidency, many of us are reflecting more profoundly than ever on what the future holds and how to heal the deep wounds that divide our nation. Uncertainty and fear loom as dark times, fueled by the hate and prejudice that the president-elect and his supporters have stirred up, threaten to rip our nation apart.

“How do we brace ourselves to withstand what this fractured future may hold? How do we preserve the freedoms and gains we have made in the past and build a stronger nation going forward? The responsibility that each of us has is crucial. I ask myself what I have done with my moments and my days, which now seem shorter as the sands of time run through the hourglass with increasing speed. Have I used my time wisely and unselfishly? Have I faltered in service to my neighbor?

“ All of God’s children are equal in His sight and deserving of liberty and justice regardless of race, color or creed. The dignity and dreams of all of God’s children matter. This has been my guiding principle and motivation for working for Social Justice throughout my life.

“The dreams of black and brown and red and yellow people dry up like prunes and perish ‘like raisins in the sun’. Ignored are their anguished voices crying in the wilderness, begging America for a place at the table. 

“An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth can only make us blind and toothless. Already we stumble in blindness and hate, ignoring your edict to love one another as God has loved us. 

“Your instructions, Divine Source of Strength, are so clear about how to create a peaceable kingdom: simply to love God and love our neighbor. Yet, greed and avarice prevail and the hunger for power over one’s fellow human beings makes ravenous monsters of the strong, who devour the weak and oppressed.

“We must continue to work tirelessly to create the Beloved Community as did Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and others. In our imaginations, we can picture the celestial realm where brilliant souls unloose the surly bonds of creed and race and embrace peace and justice face to face. 

“I implore the God of my weary years, the God of my silent tears, to grant us peace and let peace and forgiveness begin with me. May my remaining days be a testament to His loving kindness as I surrender to His holy will.

“May God use the broken places in my life to let His light shine through. I paraphrase what an unknown, perceptive person once said, ‘Life is not a smooth journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, well preserved body, but rather a rugged race to skid in broadside, thoroughly bruised up and used up, totally worn out from fighting for justice and loudly proclaiming, “Wow, what a ride!!!”’”

Pocohontas Gertler is my stepmother-in-law. She just turned 84.

I have been struggling with where protest marches fit into American political life and expression, and what value and role they have in defining, articulating, and accomplishing change in the face of adversity, unity in an environment of poisonous division.

When I asked her thoughts, she wrote,

“Judy, Dear, I would never presume to present myself as any kind of an expert on these matters.  I have only my eight decades of life experience and observations to rely upon and what I have learned along the way. I don’t believe that there is only one approach when it comes to standing up for justice. Some may be quite spontaneous while others are well planned.  I do believe that all must be non-violent.  Violence begets more violence and that, of course, is counterproductive.”

Her memoir, While I Run This Race, is filled with the amazing grace of a lifetime warrior against racism and injustice. Of all the people in my life, she holds the brightest torch lighting the way of determination against struggle, despite the astonishing hardships and indignities that life dished up.

She is living proof that while we cannot control what happens to us, we choose how we will respond and who we will become.

The January 21st, 2017 Women’s March is a lot more complicated, and messy, than the Inaugural Parade.

That’s not surprising.

The January 21^st march grew in a matter of hours from one woman’s facebook post overnight to tens of thousands of people crying out to be heard. In days, signups hit a hundred thousand or more. The initiators must have scrambled to absorb an instant  self-study crash-course in public advocacy, coalition-building, public relations, communications, finance and heaven knows what else. My heart goes out to them. They went to sleep cuddling a kitten, and woke up holding onto a tiger by the tail!

By contrast, the inauguration parade team has been working on January 2oth’s event for over six months. They have decades of experience and binders full of briefing books. They will pull off apparently flawlessly-executed events. And they’ll debrief and figure out what they’d have done better, and add another binder to the shelf when they’re done.

Am I unreasonable to think that the precious energy and resources of hundreds of thousands of people is squandered when they gather for a public demonstrations without a clearly-articulated message for a specific audience?

Yes, a mass public gathering has powerful potential for participants to bond with like-minded people, discover new allies and strengthen common cause for the next four years. It’s an opportunity to join hands across the divide and heal with hope for a vision of America we can share.  That’s the positive.

The more focus, the more of all those positive things happen.

This set of rallies doesn’t have any such focus.

I’m concerned that demonstrations next week in one or more cities have the potential to flip in the blink of an eye from freedom of expression to an explosion of rage and fear. If that happens, in even one city, people will be discouraged rather than energized to join forces and voices at a time when unity is vital. That’s the negative.

“Protests are successful and effective when they have a clear message, a clear mission. That’s part of what made the 1913 march by the suffragettes seeking the right to vote so memorable and the 1963 Martin Luther King Jr.-led March on Washington so powerful.

“They are unsuccessful when they are simply a stage for venting.”

The Women’s March Needs Passion and Purpose, Petula Dvorak, Washington Post, 1/13/17

All concerned citizens —of all genders, across the political spectrum and myriad issues —need to get our act together. Mass demonstrations need a well-defined purpose, both to achieve the goal they have, and avoid outcomes they don’t want.

The only thing I know for sure about the rallies is that there will be dozens of lessons learned across the country. There is a new generation of activists being launched right this moment.

That generation desperately needs to know, and fast, how to organize themselves and speak with clarity and purpose. People who want to build a stronger country together have no time to waste. Congress is burning the midnight oil. Apparently everyone’s going to need to do that. More than ever, we need the wise advice of those who have been this road before. We need the lessons of the last 50 or 60 years and more.

It’ll come together. We are going to see people re-learn some lessons in civil activism in their entirety, just as parents cannot protect children from the pain and scrapes that come from growing up and the lessons that come from mistakes We are going to adapt some lessons of the past for this new millennium. And we’re going to learn some new things that we can’t possibly imagine right now.

Yes, amazing things happen because people push through and accept the inevitable messiness of inspiration and accept and grapple with all the gifts of imperfection.

Accept that and embrace it up front. If you’re going to a march (or organizing or supporting one) do you have your debriefing booked?

Am I going? Nope. I’m sitting this one out on the sidelines to see what happens. ‘Cause this is just round one.

The 1/21 marches don’t measure up. But the next ones will. As President Obama said, “If something needs fixing, lace up your shoes and do some organizing.” There’s a lot to work on, no matter what side of the aisle you’re on or who you’re standing with. SO let’s come together and get to work.

To paraphrase Winston Churchill, this isn’t the end. It’s not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.

Whether you are marching or not, I welcome your thoughts. Thank you for always understanding that my heart is with you and in the right place even if my words don’t catch up.

Judy Bradt Hi, Michael! And thanks for writing. Your perspective as someone who is planning to march with your family is important to me! I definitely want to support you. For me, the thing that is missing is singularity of focus on an issue. There is a lot to be accomplished, and the March has value as a starting point for a long journey. The organizers are doing an extraordinary thing beyond anything they expected to attempt. My choice is to participate in something when I am satisfied that my own priorities are strongly aligned with the stated intentions of the event organizers. For me, there is not enough clarity to merit going out to march in this particular event.

I applaud those who are willing and eager to step up at this early stage despite all of those unknowns. I’m not ready yet. I will be watching and cheering for a good outcome for everyone and lots of positive developments, both anticipated and surprising

Laurel Bowman Oh come on, Judy. You’re right there in Washington. Get out there! I’ll be marching in Victoria. Sure, it doesn’t have a clearly defined focus and message, but the basic message is still clear: “NOT ON OUR WATCH YOU BASTARD.” I think that’s clear enough.

Judy Bradt There is that. Otoh, this may be the first march but it is far from the last.

Laurel Bowman Get in on the ground floor! if there is another march you can be in on that one too.

Judy BradtThere are many ways to “show up” and marching is certainly one of them. 

My mother used to tell me, “we read to learn, we write to learn.” Writing this blog, and reading and responding to you, is part of how I am learning something that is new to me: I am discovering exactly how I want to participate in civil activism.

I recognize that I have an emotional response and I want to understand what’s underneath there. If my first response to The idea of taking part in a march is caution, and then I feel ashamed for setting myself apart from others who instantly leave at the chance and buy plane tickets and bus tickets and arrange accommodations, then that tells me I need to stop and sort out what’s happening for me. That is what I have learned.

Until I figure that out, I am not the marcher you want today. But I am the Marcher you absolutely want next time.

Horton heard a who. (Now that I recall, something pink and fluffy was also involved.)

I am struggling with what it means to be one dot on the screen. Maybe that IS the point: to fully absorb that change and progress happen because everybody is willing to be one small dot and understand that change, is because millions are willing to stand together. When I show up in person for something, I want to be all in, aligned in head as well as heart.

Marchers next week will include people who voted for Donald Trump. Sofa-sitters will include people who voted otherwise.

I will not let my inherent perfectionism stand in the way of standing up. There may very well be elements I want to see in place before I show up for certain kinds of public event. There may be things I have simply not researched, like what I might do if I were to get arrested, and what my rights are if that happens. I’m not prepared for that right now.

If I show up for something, whether that is making a presentation or flying an airplane or climbing a wall, I want to be as ready as I can be, not just for my own sake but also to support those people around me. I do adventure some things, but I’m not a risk seeker. That’s me.

Canadian astronaut Chris Hadfield has a wonderful book called, “an astronaut’s guide to life on earth.” I found it absolutely fantastic. He also has an important thought for this situation. One of the marvelous tenets is the principle “Be a zero.” By that, he means when you are joining a team, you can end up making a negative contribution by showing up trying to be the winning positive contributor. Understanding the flow of whatever it is that you’re joining, and starting out by working in harmony with what is happening ultimately lets you contribute beyond your wildest dreams and bring everything you have to the combined effort.

If a two-year-old does not know how to read, one does not call her simple. One teaches her to read. Come, teach me.

Natalie Cornell I’ll be marching on Saturday and here’s why: to say I’m watching you and I will hold you to account; I will not stand by and let you and a Republican Congress roll back 50 years of progress for minorities and women without making a scene and forcing you to explain why it’s OK for the rest of us to live with the tyranny of a culture that overvalues straight white men and undervalues everyone else; and I hope that some percentage of the people marching get inspired to run for office in their school districts, towns cities or states. It doesn’t matter that there isn’t one theme. It matters that he and Congress know we’ll be watching them.

Judy Bradt Yes, Natalie! And hold me accountable, too. The one thing I know for certain is that we will look back and see that this will not have been the biggest rally of the next four years, not by a long shot. 

It takes courage to go out when things are not well defined, when they are messy and in the primordial ooze of the creative process, and to be there when the spark of life ignites into a full flame.

You know me: you know that when I commit to something I am all in. For that to happen, my head and my heart need to be in the same place for me to show up and be in integrity. Nobody needs me to show up mumbling and criticizing. And all of us need to be patient with those whose views are not 100% the same as our own. If I show up, I need to show up whole hearted and able to embrace in my heart as well as in my head an enormous diversity views and be OK with the related inevitable messiness. I need to be unafraid of the idea that someone might make all kinds of unfounded conclusions about me simply because I showed up.

For that matter, people are very likely making their own conclusions about me simply because this time I am choosing not to March. I am not alone. For every Marcher on the mall and in dozens of cities, there are many more who are also watching.

If you have patience with them and me while we sort out our own thinking, we will join you next time. If you decry us with the accusation that “Those who are not with us are against us,” then we lose the opportunity for unity within as well as across what might seem like borders.

There are many WAYS to join forces and succeed together, whether we call Congress,  knit hats, make soup, give rides, pack lunches, or put our boots on the street. I deeply hope that no rolling of bandages will be required.

Oh, and there is NO acceptable explanation for “living with the tyranny of a culture that overvalues straight white men and undervalues everyone else.”

Jennifer Cooney Let’s be optimistic and see how it goes. I, for one, already have “outrage fatigue” and cannot sustain this worry about what might happen for the next four years. And face it, a negative headline is going to get a lot more clicks than a positive one.

Patti Latino “We have not made a single gain in civil rights without determined…nonviolent pressure.” -Martin Luther King, Jr.

I have been struggling with many questions about marches in general, as well as about the “women’s march” in particular. I’ll have more thoughts in the days ahead. Here’s the latest set.

“I just don’t feel safe,” a friend confided, telling me her top of mind reason for not attending the Jan 21st Women’s March on Washington.

That got me thinking about several threads at once.

Is staying “safe” a good enough reason to stay away? Historically, thousands of protest marchers have risked life and limb to stand up and be seen and heard in opposition to things they think are simply wrong and need to be changed. Maybe part of the point is to set aside personal safety and inconvenience take part despite personal risks of injury, arrest, and uncertain outcomes.

It’s been decades since I took part in any kind of public demonstration, and never in one likely to be as highly-charged as the January 21st one. There are a lot of reasons why I’m not going to this one, and I’m still sorting them out.

I’m working at getting over feeling guilty for not standing physically there in solidarity with longtime friends, and some family members, who signed up weeks ago. I mean, I’m a woman, and, yes, I have, um, concerns. Precisely what basket of concerns do the marchers represent?

“The march has become a catch-all for a host of liberal causes, from immigrant rights to police killings of African Americans. But at its heart is the demand for equal rights for women,” said Post reporters Perry Stein and Sandhya Somashekhar.

If I’m going to march for something, I want to be absolutely clear about what it is, what I want to accomplish, and who’s supposed to be getting what message. As best I’ve been able to tell so far, that’s a long diffuse list of things that marchers might be concerned about. It’s hard to imagine that everybody who’s marching is going to be for or against all the same things.

“Organizers insist the march is not anti-Trump…”

~ Washington Post, 1/3/17

Although the march may be a focal point for people who oppose the agenda of the incoming administration, there’s no political litmus test required from participants. Many people who voted for the President-elect will be marching alongside many more who did not.

I’m also feeling guilty for a far more picayune justification than “safety”: um, convenience.  For over a decade, I’ve left town, or even left the country, for inaugurations in 2001 and 2005. To be fair, I’m an equal opportunity sofa surfer: I watched the 2009 and 2013 ceremonies from the warm comfort of my couch. I don’t get caught up in the excitement of having attended an event in person if “in person” means “part of the throngs a mile back with obstructed view of the JumboTron, oversimplified audio, squeezed into a crowd I can’t get out of, far from restrooms, and facing long delays to get home.”

My contribution to “delivering a message” (exactly what message and to whom, unknown) would be simply as one more dot on the screen, assuming the people I might want to communicate with are watching at all, rather than finding themselves stuck in consequently disrupted traffic. I’m not thinking that whether I march or watch on TV or follow friends live casting will make almost any difference.

Which is to say, there is a lot I don’t know about the mechanics of large public protests.

Someone, educate me. How do leaders somehow channel the energy of participants in some way that reaches and connects with the parties they want to engage? Or is the goal to communicate something that will get picked up by reporters — who will write what they write, not necessarily what the marchers hope.

Calling people a “basket of deplorables” is unlikely to persuade those people to vote for you. Similarly, convening a gathering of a couple hundred thousand people is almost guaranteed not to attract anyone from the incoming Administration to stand up on the big stage and get yelled at. Is it?

Where does dialog and engagement take place?

Emotions will run high, that’s for sure. Which emotions do you think are going to drive the event? Hope, love, and solidarity? Or fear, anger, and outrage? Honestly, there will be plenty of both.

On to practicalities.

Are you going? If this would be your first big protest march, how will you know what to do, what to expect?

A fast search showed no “Guide to Modern Civil Disobedience In America.” This march might be a novel experience for one or even two generations of marchers, but it will not be America’s first rodeo. The last hundred years are filled with lessons of triumph and tragedy. Marches do matter.

Related: One of my family members, who has lived over 80 years as a warrior for justice, shared this link with me: http://www.upworthy.com/7-times-in-us-history-when-people-p…